When a pay rise leaves you feeling low: Why knowing your worth is a game changer

At the end of the day, most of us don’t go to work just for the love of it, we go in exchange for a salary. And that’s not only okay, it’s essential. Whether money represents security, freedom, generosity, or the ability to simply live our lifestyle, how we are paid matters. It doesn’t always have to be the highest salary, but it needs to feel fair and reflect our value.

But what happens when you think you’re on track for that recognition, and the reward doesn’t materialise?

That’s exactly what happened to my client, Rachel.

All year long, Rachel had received glowing feedback: she was praised for her outstanding management of client accounts, her strategic thinking, and her ability to grow relationships that mattered. So when annual performance reviews came around, she was expecting a pay rise that matched her impact.

Instead, she received a 2.5% pay rise - barely covering inflation.

The blow was bigger because Rachel’s personal costs had risen sharply. After years of remote work, she was now commuting 50 minutes into the office three times a week, paying for fuel, parking, and everything else that had crept up with the cost of living. She was also at a life stage of planning her wedding and saving for a family, her financial needs were evolving, fast.

She had been giving more - and needed more - but the company wasn’t meeting her where she was.

Worse still, the carrot of a promotion was dangled a few months down the line with no firm commitment of a further pay adjustment attached. Understandably, Rachel felt devalued, disillusioned, and unsure if the company saw her future the same way she did.

We took a step back. Together, we mapped out:

• Her current market worth (based on role, experience, results, and location)

• Her internal value to the company (based on growth she had driven)

• Her non-negotiables and aspirations for her next life and career stage

And crucially, we asked the big question: “What is your walking away point?”

Because the reality is - companies don’t have to say yes to a request. But you have to know your line: what you are willing to accept, and at what point you’d move on.

Rachel went into her next conversation prepared. She presented a compelling, evidence-based case for why her promotion and a further pay adjustment weren’t just deserved - they were essential for retaining the value she brought. She led the conversation from a place of calm authority, not emotional reaction.

The result? She secured a significant additional pay rise and the promotion she wanted.

But here’s the bigger learning: If I’d spoken to Rachel’s employer, I would have asked them a similar tough question: "What’s your walking away point? Could you really replace Rachel’s experience, trust, and client success - or would losing her cost you even more?"

Employees and employers both need to understand value. They both need to know what they are prepared to compromise on - and what they are not.

Mapping your market worth isn’t just important when you’re on the job hunt - it’s crucial for career sustainability. It helps you ask for what you deserve with confidence, and it helps businesses understand that investment in their people is not just goodwill - it’s strategy.

When you know your worth - and your walking away point - you change the conversation entirely.